My Trip to "Wits End" (long post)

I've been reading this book I got from a friend for my birthday titled "A Mother's Book of Secrets". I came across a quote that I love by Orson F Whitney:"....All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our character, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable…..”

As I was reading this it reminded me of a day I had with Mia last fall. It was right after school had started again and I made the decision to keep Mia home instead of putting her in preschool. I had noble intentions, really. After sending Mason off to school I went outside to sand some shelves I wanted to put in the boys room. Mia and Madden were playing downstairs. At least that's what I thought. After about an hour I came inside to find both of them sitting on the kitchen counter with several open and empty cups of Crystal Light drink powder scattered around them. They had taken turns opening a cup, closing their eyes and blowing the contents all over. It was Raspberry Ice flavor so when it comes in contact with water it turns a deep red. There was powder EVERYWHERE !

Let me just explain what happens to me when I come upon things like this: I PANIC!!!! Real, flat out panic!! I want to SCREAM! My head starts to spin. My ears ring. I have to remind myself to breathe. My first thought is to run away because it's too overwhelming, where do you even start? Like when one of my kids would poop in the tub....PANIC!! Throw up....PANIC!!! Kids playing in the mud…PANIC!!! Overly messy diapers....PANIC!! Somehow I handle it but the panic stays with me for quite a while after. Stupid but true.

Ok, where was I? So I see the mess, FREAK…PANIC….remind myself to breathe….where do I begin?! I take one thing at a time and get the kids and the kitchen cleaned up. Not a quick task, it takes some serious time but eventually I'm finished. I talk to Mia about why this isn't ok and why we don't EVER make messes like this. I handled it, YES!. Time to move on with our day.I enter the living room. While I had been cleaning the kitchen the kids had taken a new box of Lucky Charms and emptied it on the front room floor. Then they proceeded to "dance" all over it getting it nice and ground into the carpet. They love to dance and run around the front room so when I had heard them in there I didn't think anything of it. PANIC again!! The kids help me clean up by scooping what we could into the garbage then vacuuming. I sit Mia down again and explain -a little more passionately- that this is unacceptable. Next time there will be consequences beyond just helping to clean it up. I think we have an understanding.

Lunch time and then quiet time for Mia while Madden has a nap. After a story I put a movie on for her so I can go take a shower and get dressed for the day. (Anyone else have days where you don’t get showered or dressed until right before your husband gets home from work?) After I shower and get ready for the day (evening, night…whatever it is) the doorbell rings. As I stand there talking to my neighbor Madden wakes up from his –all too short- nap and joins Mia downstairs. I’m talking to her for a while then I go check on the kids. I call out their names….no answer. Again…..no answer. As I go down the stairs I can see the popcorn Mia had while she watched the movie is dumped all over the family room floor. Smashed all over the carpet much like the cereal mentioned before. This time the panic is overshadowed a bit by my ANGER!! Now I’m not calling out their names sweetly, I’m yelling them! First, middle AND last names are used!!!! Still no answer. I hear faint voices but they are nowhere to be found. I go upstairs, nowhere. Where are they? I listen again and can here voices downstairs so I go back down. I can’t find them anywhere. I listen again……the storage room. I open the door and here’s the scene I find:

Standing in the middle of the floor are both kids with a puddle around them of thick, colorful liquid. PAINT!! In our storage room I have a spot where I have always kept paints. Most of them are bottles of craft paints but there are wood stains as well. ALL of them were emptied on the cement floor. They’re “skating” in it. They’re finger painting in it. They’re creating a masterpiece. There are colorful footprints everywhere. Forget everything that usually happens when I panic. At the sight of this mess my entire day flashes before my eyes, my mind goes completely blank and I BURST into tears. I don’t even know if panic takes place at this point, I’m beyond thought. I’m sobbing and FURIOUS! Judging by the look on Mia’s face she knew she was in serious trouble. I carry both of them into the bathroom which thankfully is right next to the storage room. I clean them off in the sink and tell her -through clenched teeth- to get her little rear-end up to her room! (I don’t know what words I used but I’m sure there were expletives somewhere in the mix)

Matt came home while I was in the middle of cleaning it up. I explained through my tears how my day had led to this point. I also explained that it would be his responsibility to give her a proper punishment. If it was left up to me she wouldn’t live to see tomorrow. I was so mad. Matt helped me clean up and left Mia in her room for a very long time. She was still there when I left for work an hour or so later. When I returned home 2 hours later the popcorn mess was cleaned up, Mia had been punished in a civil manner and I resolved to call the next morning and enroll her in preschool (for as many days a week as they would take her!)!

Looking back I know I didn’t endure this day with patience and I’m sure it didn’t make me more charitable or expand my soul. The 2 things I did learn: 1.When kids reach a certain age most of them need time away from us as much as we need a break from them. 2. One minute on time out for each year of age is rarely long enough for the Mom involved.