LOVE YOU

Life threw us another curve ball a couple of weeks ago when we received the phone call that Matt's sister Holly had passed away.  Her life had been tough for a long time and she grew tired of dealing with it.  This is the 3^rd time in a few short years that one of these calls have come about his siblings.   Three tough lives, three funerals to follow.  It’s extremely hard to wrap our minds around.   Growing up in that family was tough for everyone;  failed marriages, abuse, mental illness, absent fathers, welfare, drugs, unpaid child support, police, jail, prison…I could go on.

 We’ve learned well how to put together a funeral, make the decisions that need to be made and get through the drama of parents who were never really parents and never partners.  Matt dove in with both feet as he always does.  I watched as he was the adult in the situation where no one else would be.  I watched as in his mind he revisited the way things were growing up and why his family has ended up where they are.  I’ve watched him get angry with the dysfunction that seeps from every pore of his family.    Most importantly, I’ve watched him take it all in and chose firmly to live a better existence!

He spoke at her funeral and said exactly what needed to be said.  He comforted and taught but didn’t mix words.  It’s moments like this when I’m proudest of him.  He understands what was missing in his family and does everything in his power to give our family what he didn’t have.  I see him struggle with the choices his parents made and are making.  I see him take the weight of situations that should never fall on a child’s shoulders.  I see the shadow of that weight cross his eyes and it makes me hurt.  He’s alone.  He’s got supportive, great people all around him but yet , he’s alone.  That’s hard to watch.

He’s a rock star at setting and enforcing boundaries with his family and sometimes they’re pretty nasty to him because of that.  But he’s always made sure that me & the kids know we are his first and greatest priority.  That’s saying a lot!

He’s been dealing with a lot before, and especially since, Holly passed away and I want him to know how proud I am of him.

Our 17^th anniversary was last month and I had intentions of writing something that might let others know how lucky I am to have you Matt.  I allowed things to get in the way and never  sat down to do it. 
  I'm lucky to have you.  The kids are lucky to have you.    I love you Mattie!  Happy 17 Years ….and a zillion more.