SIX

I read a story once of a young couple telling her parents that they were expecting their first child.  The parents were extremely excited and the soon-to-be Grandma gave her daughter a hug.  

"I'm so excited for you." She said.  "But a little sad at the same time."

"Why?" asked the daughter.

"Well, I'm excited because of this new little life you will bring into our family.  You'll experience more joy and happiness then you ever thought possible.  The love you will feel will be stronger then any other love you've ever imagined." 

"I'm a little sad at the same time because your heart will never again truly belong to you.  Your heart will be concerned and worried and happy and excited and constantly praying for the well being of your child.  Your heart will never again truly belong to you."

 This story rang true to me.  As a mom, we gladly give up our selfish hearts to be replaced forever with the concern and well being of our child.

It's been six years since you've joined our ranks and boy, it's been great.  I am madly and completely in love with you.  I have loved this last school year having you to myself one last time.  Walking you to the bus each day after lunch, playing Memory on the front room floor, taking you on my errands and having you for my daily lunch date.  

There was a small twinge of jealously when I would help in your class and the cute little girl that had a crush on you would run to get the seat next to you.  Part of me wanted to stick my tongue out at her and say "SO THERE!" when you'd run up to me and give me a big hug and tell her, "This is my Mom!"

"YEAH!  SO THERE!  AND HE WANTS TO MARRY ME SOME DAY TOO!"  I'd want to say.  But I didn't.

Sometimes when you walk in a room my breath catches in my chest.  I'm lucky to be your Mom.

I tear up when I think about the day I was walking you to the bus, holding your hand and you looked up at me and out of the blue you said,  "Mom, I'm gonna miss you a lot when I'm on my mission."   And I told you that I would miss you more but that we would always write to each other and keep in touch and I would think about you all the time. (but I don't think about it too much because my chest gets tight and I can't breathe.  I'm still not sure how you send your boys away to become men.)

You were sent to me to remind me to be soft.  To love things wholeheartedly because everything is fleeting.  I need daily reminders of these things and I'm grateful you're around to do just that.  

Thank you for six great years so far.  Thank you for who you are and the part you play in our family.  Thank you for wanting to marry me instead of the cute girl in your class.  And thank you for taking over that place in my heart when I gave it up to you.  If my heart doesn't belong to me anymore, I gladly turn it over to you, Mason and Mia.

 I love you. Dad loves you.  We all love you.   

Happy Birthday Mad-dawg!