Life threw us another curve ball a couple of weeks ago when
we received the phone call that Matt's sister Holly had passed away. Her life had been tough for a long time and
she grew tired of dealing with it.
This is the 3rd time in a few short years that one of these
calls have come about his siblings. Three tough lives, three funerals to follow. It’s extremely
hard to wrap our minds around. Growing up
in that family was tough for everyone; failed
marriages, abuse, mental illness, absent fathers, welfare, drugs, unpaid child
support, police, jail, prison…I could go on.
We’ve learned well how
to put together a funeral, make the decisions that need to be made and get
through the drama of parents who were never really parents and never partners. Matt dove in with both feet as he always
does. I watched as he was the adult in
the situation where no one else would be.
I watched as in his mind he revisited the way things were growing up and
why his family has ended up where they are.
I’ve watched him get angry with the dysfunction that seeps from every
pore of his family. Most importantly,
I’ve watched him take it all in and chose firmly to live a better existence!
He spoke at her funeral and said exactly what needed to be
said. He comforted and taught but didn’t
mix words. It’s moments like this when
I’m proudest of him. He understands what
was missing in his family and does everything in his power to give our family
what he didn’t have. I see him struggle
with the choices his parents made and are making. I see him take the weight of situations that
should never fall on a child’s shoulders.
I see the shadow of that weight cross his eyes and it makes me
hurt. He’s alone. He’s got supportive, great people all around
him but yet , he’s alone. That’s hard to
watch.
He’s a rock star at setting and enforcing boundaries with his
family and sometimes they’re pretty nasty to him because of that. But he’s always made sure that me & the
kids know we are his first and greatest priority. That’s saying a lot!
He’s been dealing with a lot before, and especially since,
Holly passed away and I want him to know how proud I am of him.
Our 17th anniversary was last month
and I had intentions of writing something that might let others
know how lucky I am to have you Matt. I allowed things to
get in the way and never sat down to do
it. I'm lucky to have you. The kids are lucky to have you. I love you Mattie! Happy 17 Years ….and a zillion more.
